Hope is prevailing

Yesterday and today have been much better than Monday and Tuesday. I am doing a lot better now that I am focusing on hope for Brady again. Some may think it's futile to be hopeful in a situation like this, but only God knows what he has in store for Brady, so I should be hopeful for the best because we've already planned for the worst, so now I want to live on hope.

Paul and I decided last night that we are not going to plan for Brady's memorial right now. If it happens, we want to plan his memorial while we are in the grieving state of mind because only then will we really know how we feel and what we want to do to remember him. I feel really good about this decision. We've done the initial planning with the funeral home and cemetary, and we are gathering ideas for memorializing him, so if it does happen, we will be prepared to make the final decisions without having to do all the research we have already done. So please keep sending your ideas. We really appreciate your contributions and we look forward to you sending your ideas. We will just wait to make any final decisions until it happens.

So now my plan is to just focus on Brady and regular every day life. I want to focus on having fun and being in a positive, happy state of mind for Brady. If I am stressed or unhappy, he will feel so effects, and I don't want that. So that means I will probably be doing a lot of pretending that this situation isn't happening because it really doesn't do any good to keep thinking about it when there is really nothing I can do at this point. I will continue going to my regular OB appointments, but I don't think we will do any more tests on Brady until I am much further along because doing additional tests will only help us for after he is born, so we'll probably wait on those until I am closer to my due date.

I really appreciate everyone's texts, emails, and blog comments checking on us. It is so touching how much you all care for us and support us. We love you all.

Here is the 3D ultrasound picture of Brady from Monday. It's kind of freaky looking, but kind of cool too. You can see his arm up in front of his face (he wasn't happy about the ultrasound). I think that's his eye socket above and to the left of his arm, and you can see his chin and I think part of his mouth below his arm. To the right of his face is placenta material or something, so that's why that looks weird. Just wanted you to see our little man!