Things just keep getting worse

Well, I had another OB appointment this morning, and my blood pressure was really high again (153/90), and this time I had protein in my urine (2+). The protein is a really bad sign because it could mean that I have preeclampsia. For those of you who don't know what preeclampsia is, it's basically a condition where the body is having some kind of bad interaction with the placenta. Typically it doesn't occur until later in the third trimester (I start the third trimester tomorrow - 26 weeks along), but it's not really surprising in my case because of Brady having Trisomy 13. Since Brady has T-13, the placenta isn't quite made right, and since it's malfunctioning now (as we saw from the last appointment when we found out that the blood is flowing backwards when Brady's heart relaxes, which is called Reversed End-Diastolic Flow), my body is probably starting to react to that even more.

Preeclampsia can cause all kinds of issues - kidney failure, blood platelet counts dropping, liver problems, and even neurologic problems like seizures, which can cause permanent damage. There are some treatments, but the only real treatment is to deliver the baby. In a normal pregnancy, they might try to hold off on delivering the baby until further along in the pregnancy, but since Brady has a low chance of survival anyway, that wouldn't really be the right course of action for me because it would be too much risk to my health.

So, tomorrow I get to do a 24-hour urine sample again - I already had to do one early in the pregnancy because of high blood pressure, which is good because now they have a baseline against which to compare these new results. If the protein in my urine is above 300 mg, that means I have preeclampsia. If the protein level is below 3 g, then the preeclampsia is mild, but if it's 3 g or more, then the preeclampsia is severe. If it's mild, then I will start getting blood tests twice a week to monitor other effects, such as kidney and liver issues and blood platelet counts, and if any of those go past a certain threshold, then I will have to deliver Brady early. If the preeclampsia is already severe, then I assume I will have to deliver him as early as Monday. I will find out the results of the 24-hour urine test this Saturday or Sunday. If I have to deliver him because of preeclampsia, they will give me magnesium sulfate intravenously during labor to prevent any issues from occurring. Apparently, the magnesium sulfate makes you feel like you've been run over by a truck, so 24-36 hours of feeling like that during labor will not be fun.

You'd think after getting bad news at every appointment, I would start to expect it, but since I'm focusing so much on being hopeful, I don't expect it. So this is another upsetting day. At this point, I have no idea what I'm supposed to feel. It's getting to the point where hope just doesn't seem to be realistic anymore, but maybe I just need to be hopeful about something different. Maybe if we have to deliver early because of the preeclampsia, that will allow us to meet Brady alive; whereas, if we didn't deliver early, he might pass away in the womb. Who knows.

It's getting harder to get through each day not knowing what's going to happen, but I'm still trying to focus on the good things each day. I guess that's why when something goes badly (like the Virginia Tech game Monday night), I get abnormally upset, because I'm trying so hard to have something good to focus on. And I guess it doesn't help that I'm sleeping worse these days, from having crazy dreams and having to get up to pee more often. I thought that was because I'm getting bigger now, but maybe it's the preeclampsia, I don't know. I guess we'll write this off as a bad day and hope for a better day tomorrow. Pray for strength.