Monday, January 31, 2011

Bean's First Pictures and Heartbeat

Last Wednesday, I had some spotting and it freaked me out. I knew that it really wasn't an indication that anything was wrong because spotting in the first trimester is very common, but it's been so hard to wait to see if Bean has a heartbeat and is healthy, so this put me over the edge. My first OB appt is Feb. 7, which isn't until I'm 9 1/2 weeks, and I was trying so hard to be optimistic that Bean really is our gift from God. But with my emotions running wild, it's been hard to stay positive, especially because I feel so connected and so in love with Bean already.

After the spotting, I called the doctor and made an ultrasound appt for Thursday morning, so that we could check on Bean and make sure everything is okay. On Thursday morning (1/27), we went to UNC hospital to get the ultrasound. I was doing a pretty good job of not being nervous, but once the ultrasound started, I started getting a little anxious. The ultrasound technician first checked on my ovaries and looked around my uterus, and then she finally got to Bean! Bean's heartbeat was perfectly strong and she/he measured 7 weeks and 6 days, which is 1 day off from how far along I am based on the first day of my last period. Since it's pretty accurate, they are going to keep the due date at September 8.

We were so happy and excited! The ultrasound tech put the pictures of Bean on a CD for us, so I attached one of them here (I think he/she is facing away from us and there is a little arm bud sticking up). We also got to record the heartbeat. Such a great sound!

My nausea has been significantly worse this time. I am taking 5 Zofran per day instead of just 2, and I still feel pretty bad most of the morning. I am also ridiculously starving. I get hungry every 2 hours, at a minimum. It's crazy! It's especially bad in the morning, and it definitely got worse over this past weekend. Today (Monday 1/31), from 6AM until noon, I ate a banana, a bagel, an apple, a bowl of cereal, and a turkey sandwich! That is a lot of food.

I'm taking this increase in hunger and sickness as a sign that Bean is super healthy. I need to remember to continue focusing on our goal of having a healthy baby. I'm going to try my best to rid myself of any negative or anxious thoughts that creep into my head. I know we deserve this baby and we are so excited to meet him/her! Sometimes it feel surreal that I am pregnant again. I just feel so blessed and I'm trying hard to enjoy my time with the baby, even if I don't feel good right now :) I'm just so happy to be feeling bad, but I do look forward to feeling better in the second trimester. Only 4.5 weeks until then!

I think Bean likes a lot of space because I'm already having to keep my pants unbuttoned! Here's the most recent pic at 8.5 weeks:

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

A Blessing

The holidays were really great. I wasn't sad like I thought I might be. My parents, sister, and brother-in-law were in town for Christmas and we all went to visit Brady's grave together on Christmas day. It was really nice. I took a pregnancy test on Christmas morning to see if God had granted us a wonderful Christmas gift, but it was negative. I still had a positive outlook though because I figured it might just be too early. And I was right :) On New Years Eve morning, I was a day late, so I took a pregnancy test and it was positive! What a wonderful way to start the new year!

We truly believe that this is a blessing from God and that this baby will be healthy. I have already gotten many of the same symptoms I got last time, like nausea and intense hunger, so it looks like the baby is on the right track to developing. The books say that these symptoms indicate that a baby is healthy. Well, we all saw that wasn't the case with Brady, but I believe that the symptoms indicate that the baby is going to hold on and not miscarry. So, based on that belief, this baby is going to hold on. And since I believe that God is showing mercy on us and blessing us with a baby so soon, I don't believe that he would put us through another situation in which our baby is unhealthy. So I will remain optimistic that this baby is healthy and will develop correctly (although I'm sure I will be nervous when it's time to have that mid-pregnancy ultrasound!). We are just SUPER excited!!!

This baby's name is Bean (until we know the sex and give him/her a real name, of course) :) We call him/her Little Bean, Baby Bean, Magic Bean, Beanie Baby - but Magic Bean most of the time. I am already showing a little bit - I guess my body easily remembers stretching out before, so it's already making changes. My 4 week and 6 week bump pictures are below. I can't wait until the first ultrasound! It's not scheduled yet because I have to talk with a nurse first, which is tomorrow. But I will post the results once I get to go! Stay tuned...

Baby Bump - 4 weeks

Baby Bump - 6 weeks (bump seems higher, but not bigger)