27 weeks along

Tomorrow I will be at 27 weeks.  This is a bittersweet time for me.  At this exact point last time, I was being induced and Brady was born the following morning.  I'm so grateful to have come this far again with Brooke but knowing that she is going to make it and be born a healthy baby.  However, I am still saddened when I think about the loss of Brady.  I really do still miss him and get sad when I think about the fact that we lost him.  And I'm really sad that we never got to truly know him before he left us.  But I'm still so glad that he was in our lives for the short time that he was, and I'm grateful for what he taught me.

So I look toward the future and think about Brooke and how wonderful a gift she already has been and will be once she is born.  Both Paul and I are so ready for this new phase of our lives.  I can't even begin to really express the emotions I have been going through today.  I'm sad about Brady, but I'm excited about Brooke (especially when she kicks me :)).  I've also reached a new level of discomfort today.  I have officially moved from my office to my family room because my office chair just isn't comfortable anymore.  I feel like my uterus got so much bigger overnight because bending over is so much more uncomfortable and difficult today.  Riding the stationary bike was really uncomfortable this morning because every time I pedaled, I felt it in my uterus.  And when I bent over to put lotion on my legs, it felt like my uterus was pushing up on my stomach.  I've also had trouble breathing today.  Even walking around makes me breathe harder; whereas before I used to only have trouble when going up and down the stairs.

So it feels like my uterus has reached its limit on both the top and the bottom, and I feel like the only place it has left to grow is out.  When I look in the mirror, I feel like my belly really fills up my entire mid section now, but I don't feel like it has pushed out much more lately.  So I'm guessing that's the way it's going to have to go from now on.  I just can't believe I've already reached this point of discomfort, right at the beginning of the third trimester.  For some reason, I really thought it would come later on.  Or maybe I just hoped it would :)  I just can't imagine getting so much bigger and even more uncomfortable, but I know it's going to happen!  Scary thought.  And with this discomfort comes my emotional unease.  I started crying this morning when I was uncomfortable in my desk chair.  How ridiculous!

Despite the discomfort, I am so happy to see these changes because they continue to reassure me that Brooke is healthy and growing.  I am SO much bigger and more uncomfortable now than I was with Brady when I was at this point with him, and that is a great comfort to me.  What a roller coaster ride this year has been.  It's amazing what we have been through.  I'm grateful for the experiences, but I'm really looking forward to a normal labor and birth and a healthy baby.  I know it will be really hard bringing a baby home and figuring her out, but it will also be so fulfilling and wonderful, and I know Paul and I will be so incredibly happy.  13 more weeks to go...

Today's baby bump: