Feeling great!

This week has started off SO much better than last week!  I think having a great, relaxing weekend really helped.  My back isn't hurting as much this week and I'm not getting as uncomfortable in my desk chair either.  This really helps my mood; although, I still get annoyed/irritated very easily these days.  Thankfully, that feeling doesn't last and I recognize that it's a false feeling, so I'm able to get over it quickly.

Today I weighed myself and I was 148.2 lbs.  That doesn't seem too bad, except a week ago I was only around 146 lbs, and yesterday I was 147.4 lbs, so something is definitely going on!  I'm really hoping it's Brooke growing and not myself :)  I was a little bad this weekend food-wise, but not terrible, and I'm still exercising, so I'm taking that to mean that Brooke is growing.  According to the books, she should be around 1.5 lbs right now!  That is almost a half pound more than Brady was when he was born at 27 weeks (I'm almost 24 weeks right now).  I have a good feeling that Brooke is on track and doing fine.  Yesterday she kicked me so hard that I yelled out a little out of surprise.  It was so funny and great!  That means she is getting stronger, which I love to feel.

The past few days I have begun reading about the labor and birth process in a book I have.  It's a little scary, but it actually makes me interested in attempting labor and birth without pain meds!  I know, crazy, right?  I have always been a painkiller advocate, but for some reason, I really feel the desire to attempt it without painkillers to see if I can do it.  Maybe it's because I was so out of it for Brady's birth (because of the magnesium drip required for my high blood pressure) and I really want to be more aware of everything for Brooke's birth.  I also want to see if I can stand the pain.  I'm sort of a wuss when it comes to pain and feeling bad, but I have 5 tattoos, so obviously I can stand the pain when I need to, so why not during labor and birth?  Of course, I will reserve the right to get an epidural, but maybe I'll try to do it without it.  Anyway, those are my thoughts for now.  I plan on researching the natural birth process over the summer to see if I think I can do it and to find out some coping mechanisms for the pain.  Then I can decide if I really want to try it and if I think I should take a class to really prepare for it (probably a good idea :)).

It occurred to me this morning how different of a place I am in at this point than I was with Brady at this same point.  With Brady, a week from now I found out that his placenta was failing, and 2 weeks after that they induced me.  This weekend, I bought the nursery bedding and this morning I put it in the crib.  It is so fun and exciting to begin to decorate the nursery and plan for labor and delivery.  It's so amazing how different things are this time.  I'm able to focus on the future and on positive things rather than worrying about the baby's health and planning burial arrangements.  It really makes me so incredibly thankful that Brooke is healthy and makes me realize that I am so lucky to have this chance to have a baby again.  I am so thankful for all the time I have with her, even the uncomfortable, irritable experiences I have as I get bigger.  It's all worth it in the end.

Reading about the birth process just makes me tear up because I can't wait to hold her and get to see her.  It will be so amazing, and I know I will be thinking about Brady then too.  I know in my heart that Brooke's birth will be so much better than Brady's, not just for the obvious reason of giving birth to a living, healthy baby, but I also feel that the entire process will just be much easier and better.  I think that's why I'm having the desire to attempt a natural birth.  It's very strange, but I'm going to go with my gut and see where it leads me.

My belly is definitely rounder now, and it's much harder to bend over at this point because I can actually feel my uterus crowding my other organs.  What a strange feeling!  I know it will get even more crowded in there eventually, but for some reason I'm really looking forward to the third trimester.