This week I've been especially emotional because my tongue is swollen for some reason, so it's rubbing against my teeth and I've got sores on the side of it as a result. I swear I can deal with any pain except for mouth pain. I haven't been eating as much or as well as a result, so I really hope it clears up soon. It feels a little better today, but I'm going to go to the doctor just to see what she thinks. I was using a canker sore medicine to try to help it, but I just looked it up yesterday and it's a Category C drug, which means I shouldn't be using it :( Ugh!!!! So frustrating.
Today I weighed and measured myself. I've gained another pound and a half inch, so I'm growing nice and steadily, which is great. Hopefully that will help prevent stretch marks, but who knows. My blood pressure was high today for the first time in over a week (132/75), so that's not great. But because of my mouth issues this week, I haven't been following the diet as much, so I'm going to be more diligent about that and hopefully tomorrow it will be low again. I have noticed that it's been a little higher in the past week, but I figured that it is just rising back up to my normal level of ~120/80 because my doctor said it would go down in the second trimester and then go back up to normal level in the third trimester, so we'll see. I'm not freaking out about it, and I'm trying not to :)
On Tuesday we get to see Brooke again because my OB wants me to have another ultrasound since my BP was high at my last appointment. I'm so excited to see her again! It's so much fun to look at her. I have been feeling her so much, but I love to see her. I try to focus on all the good parts about being pregnant, like getting to feel her, but honestly I really don't enjoy being pregnant at all. It's very lonely because I get tired so easily and can't han out and do things as much as I used to. My emotions are all over the place and I get uncomfortable easily. I am able to eat more fun things than I did when I was watching my weight, and thankfully I haven't been craving a bunch of bad food, but I do have to watch what I eat somewhat to try to keep my BP low.
But despite all the negatives, I am SO extremely grateful to have a healthy baby growing inside of me and the opportunity to look forward to her birth, instead of dreading it like I did with Brady. I feel extremely blessed that I was able to get pregnant so quickly after Brady passed and I realize that Brooke would not be in this world if things hadn't gone exactly like they did with Brady. So I know this is all part of God's plan, and the reason this process can be difficult is to prepare me for the difficulties of life with a baby. I need to get over myself and just enjoy it all because life goes by so quickly and I really need to remember to enjoy every day.
So I will try to focus on the positives. Yesterday was a difficult day, but it ended really great. I lounged in the pool for a while in the early evening and then watched a great American Idol finale. So I choose to focus on those memories rather than the emotional craziness I felt yesterday during the day. I really love that pool. I have already realized some of the benefits from it, and it will get even better once the landscaping and patio furniture is in, which should be soon!!!
Here is my most recent bump picture. I feel like I'm getting rounder and I seem to be carrying Brooke high.
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