Bean's heartbeat

As I mentioned in my last post, I decided to rent the heartbeat monitor again.  I received it in the mail last Thursday and tried it right away, but I wasn't able to find Bean's heartbeat.  I knew that he was probably too small and too far down in my uterus, but it was still disappointing.  I tried again on Sunday, but no luck.  So today I decided to try again because I feel like I've gotten a little bigger, so I was hoping that Bean was having a growth spurt and causing my uterus to start to move up in my body (once it gets too big, it starts moving up because it doesn't have room between the pelvic bones - sorry if this is too graphic :)).  The instructions for the monitor also say that a full bladder may help find the heartbeat, so I decided to try that.  I didn't think I would find it this time, but I did!!!  I kept losing track of it, but I definitely found it a few times, which was so awesome.

I feel so good now about things.  It's not that I was necessarily doubting the Bean was okay.  Most of the time I still believe that Bean is our gift from God and that he is definitely healthy and going to be born okay.  But sometimes I do get these feelings of uncertainty that maybe that's not the case.  I have been trying to combat these feelings, and Paul has been so great about helping me with that because he isn't having any doubts - he absolutely knows that Bean is going to be born okay - so that has helped reinforced that belief with me.  But it's still so nice to hear Bean's heartbeat for additional reassurance.  I guess it's just the natural worrying that all mothers have.  I also really like hearing the heartbeat because it makes me feel closer to Bean since I can't feel him/her yet, which I can't wait for!

I am so looking forward to the mid pregnancy ultrasound where we can find out the sex.  That will be so exciting.  And it will also be nice to get more reassurance of Bean's health at that point.  We have a bit of a wait on that though - about 2 months, so I'll have to be patient.  Right now I'm just looking forward to the end of next week when I'm anticipating feeling better because next Thursday is when I am 12 weeks, and that's the time when I started feeling better last time.  That would be a nice birthday present.

I was looking in the mirror tonight and I swear I think I'm almost as big as I was at 6 months with Brady!  I may be over-exaggerating a bit, but not by much!  I'm going to do some measurements at the end of this week to see, but as of last week, I had already gained almost 3 inches.  But I've only gained around 3.5 pounds, so that's good.  I guess everything is just already stretched out, so it's not much weight, just volume, however that works.

Anyway, I'm super excited to hear Bean's heartbeat and to be getting further along.  A little over 2 weeks until I'm done with the first trimester and the blissful second trimester starts.  I'm looking forward to not feeling sick anymore and not being so hungry.  It's ridiculous how much I eat and how hungry I still am even when I feel like I've eaten a lot.  It's so weird how different it feels to eat when pregnant than not pregnant.  I have to eat more slowly and I feel full fast, but then the full feeling goes away quickly and I'm starving again.  And I know it's not because something is pushing on my stomach because I'm not big enough for that yet, so it must be hormonal or something.  It's almost like I need to eat constantly.  I love food - if you don't know me, I really love food - but eating constantly gets annoying, believe me.  So it's not as fun as it sounds.

But I can't complain.  As long as Bean is healthy, I'm happy.  I feel blessed that my nausea is under control for the most part, so I'm not throwing up and I can still eat.  I am so fortunate that I work from home and can have easy access to whatever food I want and I can take a nap if needed (which I haven't needed to do this time as long as I get 9 hours of sleep at night).  I am too tired to exercise usually, so I'm trying to exercise lightly just twice a week at this point.  Hopefully I'll be able to increase that in the second trimester when I'm not so tired and hungry.  I just want to keep up the exercise to stay healthy and not gain too much weight because losing all that weight afterwards is no fun.  But exercise also will help with the labor process apparently, so I definitely want that.

I feel very blessed that this pregnancy is going well so far and I will try to continue feeling positive that it will continue to go well and believe that Bean is healthy.  That's all I want - to see a healthy baby in September.  We can't wait!! :)