A new perspective

This week I am taking a new perspective on life. I had some wonderful and supportive friends tell me about a book called "The Secret" last Friday night, so I started reading it this week. I also listened to my friends' advice about thinking positively and knowing that I deserve what I really want in life, all I have to do is think and feel positively about it. So this weekend, I had a much better attitude and felt a lot happier.

On Sunday, I even visited a friend from high school who just had a baby 4-5 weeks ago. I was a little anxious about seeing her baby, but I really wanted to see her and meet her baby, even if it upset me. I was actually able to hold her baby for a while and not get upset at all! He actually reminded me of how much I want a baby, and holding him renewed my confidence that I will one day be blessed with a baby, somehow someday.

I then started reading The Secret on Monday morning and continued reading it this morning, and I feel even better about things. I'm really trying to focus on the absolute fact that I will eventually be blessed with children, I just don't know how or when it will happen. Of course, as many of you know, not knowing the details and having to wait for something I really want has always been hard for me. So I have to work really hard at being patient and just enjoying the journey, rather than trying to jump to the end goal. I know plenty of people have told me this, but I just wasn't ready to listen until now.

So now I will focus on being happy, but I will also listen to my gut and do whatever I feel I should do in order to help us realize our goal of having children, but I won't force it. So we are going to try naturally for several months, but if I need to take progesterone and/or Femara to help us along, I will do that. I am also going to get an HSG to make sure my fallopian tubes aren't blocked, which I didn't do earlier this year since we decided to do IVF. Even if I don't have any major blockages, the HSG may clear up any minor blockages I have and has been shown to help increase fertility over the next few months after it has been done.

I think I also need to come up with some kind of special object that will remind me to relax and think happy, positive thoughts whenever I see it because I know that sometimes I will regress and slip back into feeling anxious or impatient, which will detract from my happiness. So I will have to figure out what that object should be, so that it's really obvious to me to help me snap out of it :)

I'm looking forward to finishing The Secret and also watching the DVD that goes with the book because I think they will really help me create my positive thoughts and feelings, so that they resonate with me deep down. I need to practice, so that it becomes habitual. I really like what the book says about thinking positively: it says to think about everything with love. I'm going to try to do that from now on. It may not be easy at first, but I know I can change my outlook with practice and determination. I love you all! :)